Falling in love, falling out of love


So it’s been a while, aye?

One, I fell in love.
But more of that later.

Two, I fell out of love.
With blogging, that is.

That’s rather big for something I have loved doing since my teenage years. My blog was my safe haven, my tiny corner in the universe of the WWW, and my verbal diarrhoea bowl. I’m not much of a talker IRL, but typing and writing up blog posts allowed me to express myself freely. The Girl Next Shore was my brand (I even have it inked on my body) and for quite some time it almost defined me. Almost.

I loved it. And then I hated it.

I’ve met a lot of people through the blogosphere and through social media. Bloggers who really support each other outside of SEO talk and DA scores. Most of them are really empowering and inspirational women, who’ve gone through a lot of life stories that may or may not have been published by their online personas. I’ve also met some of my favourite Londoners – a number of whom I consider mates for life.

That said, I’ve also come across some nasty trolls (including exes’ partners, partner’s exes, colleagues, and/or their friends). Some have set up accounts pretending to be me, who’ve put up posts that tried to humiliate me and/or involve me in certain situations. Some have far too many opinions and some have involved family talk. It’s become toxic and selling the drama was just too boring.

I loved writing. And then I hated writing.

Through the years my day job had always involved analytics, some copywriting, revenue numbers, Excel spreadsheets and strategic thinking. Writing creatively on the blog was my get-yourself-sane hobby. It was therapeutic.

It just became slightly formulaic. Don’t get me wrong – I thoroughly enjoyed getting press invites to explore new restaurants, hotels, countries, products, etc. I absolutely enjoy writing about food and travel (and will continue to do so). But it became slightly repetitive. Plus with social media continuously becoming a numbers game, the blogosphere starting to get saturated, bloggers competing with each other, blogs turning into vlogs… I just felt I didn’t have time for all of it.

And I felt it. I went from being all gung-ho on churning articles and fulfilling deliverables at least twice or thrice a week to barely pushing out posts once a month or so. Frankly, blogging felt like had become a task instead of fun – which what it was meant to be, which what started it all. And I didn’t like how I wrote anymore.

I felt like through this blog, I found me. And then I lost me.

So I took a hiatus.

I’ve hinted a few times in the past few months about this. And the break was glorious because I got to enjoy the world, IRL. I’ve developed better relationships with people I see everyday, felt more fulfilled at work, caught up on things I missed out on before (like skipping work socials because I had to go to an event or do a review of something, or picking up a new hobby). I just decided to live. And by living I learned to love and breathe easy again.

It was glorious to not have to think and worry about “Shit, I’ve got to write about that restaurant…”

So why are you resurrecting the blog?

Because after all, The Girl Next Shore is me – more than a tattoo, it’s a part of me. But it’s not all of me.

Through the years I’ve enjoyed sharing snippets of my life, recommendations on where to eat and where to go, meeting new people, learning new things. But not all I have shared here define the very core of me. As it shouldn’t. Not any form of social media should do that to anyone.

In all sense of mindfulness, I want to write the way I used to, in a pace that suits me as and when. No numbers game (it never will be). No giving a shit about trolls or crazy people. No pressure. Just fun, and a bit of love.

Forgive me if this post sounded slightly self-indulgent. One of these days I will retire the blog. Definitely. But for now, it’s going to be my corner in the universe of the WWW again.

Hope you’re all doing well. x

Share:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

16 Comments

  1. 12th May 2019 / 3:48 pm

    Though I have no experience of getting trolled on the internet, I can understand how discouraging can that be. It is great that you are writing again and it tells about your strong character. All the best for your future!!

    • Honey de Gracia
      Author
      28th May 2019 / 4:35 pm

      Thanks Nitin – and yes… screw the trolls!

  2. 12th May 2019 / 5:06 pm

    Wow – what a personal and thoughtful post. When I read blogs, the ones I love the most are the ones where the writer’s personality and voice shine through. Authenticity is key, regardless of numbers, metrics, trolls, or crazy people, and this post is so authentic. I couldn’t agree more on the social media numbers game issue – especially when it’s not necessarily engaged…it’s just numbers. Thank you for this post!

    • Honey de Gracia
      Author
      28th May 2019 / 4:35 pm

      Thanks as well, Merryn. And yes agree to authenticity – we need a lot more of that these days.

  3. 13th May 2019 / 3:42 am

    I can certainly understand having a love and hate relationship with a blog. And the accompanying need to be active on social media. I am sure the break was great to gain some perspective. I know that feeling os saying … “shit I have to write about ….”. Welcome back. I hope this remains a fun activity for you.

    • Honey de Gracia
      Author
      28th May 2019 / 4:34 pm

      Thank you Linda, I do hope so too!

  4. 13th May 2019 / 5:45 am

    I think we all need a break, I had the whole of last year off and then restarted a new blog as I felt stifled by my old one. Looking forward to seeing more from you over the coming months.

    • Honey de Gracia
      Author
      28th May 2019 / 4:34 pm

      Ahhh I’m glad you’re back on, Kizzy. Looking forward to more posts from you too x

  5. 13th May 2019 / 7:39 am

    I am glad the break made you feel re-energised. I found I was getting bogged down with mine, but I have stopped putting pressure on myself now and feel better for it

    • Honey de Gracia
      Author
      28th May 2019 / 4:34 pm

      Ahhhh perhaps it’s a bit of blogger burnout isn’t it?

  6. 14th May 2019 / 1:57 am

    Wow. I can’t believe the trolls that have gone after you online. I can’t believe they have nothing better to do. I’m so glad that you were able to take a hiatus and revive your love for blogging though. Way to not let them get you down!

    • Honey de Gracia
      Author
      28th May 2019 / 4:33 pm

      Haha – don’t worry about the trolls – they’re there to cause trouble out of their boring lives.

  7. Lisa
    14th May 2019 / 11:05 am

    I know exactly how you feel. There are some days when you just want to throw in the towel. However, if you’re producing something meaningful and of value to others, you’re doing a good job.

    • Honey de Gracia
      Author
      28th May 2019 / 4:33 pm

      Cheers Lisa – appreciate this and yes, i’ll try to create more meaningful content!

  8. 26th May 2019 / 4:39 pm

    I can honestly understand the feeling of losing interest, of falling out of love with blogging. Ever since it’s become a big thing – people becoming influencers, getting invited to events to write about it and getting free stuff to again blog about – more people have jumped on the bandwagon and the contents one reads on the blogosphere are pretty much the same thing. I felt that my blog was not good enough because I wasn’t churning out content like the others and for a time I’ve even thought of deleting it again! (deleted my old blog from way back). But just like you, I’ve decided to keep it. To keep on blogging. And I’m going to just keep doing it my way. Write what I want, the way I want it too. And if someone somewhere likes what he/she reads, then all good. But I’ll keep writing for my sake. Love your blog btw. And I’m glad to have stumbled on this.

    • Honey de Gracia
      Author
      28th May 2019 / 4:32 pm

      Thank you so much for this comment, Liz. I love comments like this, when it’s not just a “like per like” and when people actually take time to read what’s been blogged. And yes, “you do you” and “write for passion” are two key phrases to consider. No more pressure 🙂

      Thanks so much. x